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[Soulwing]

Soulwing was sitting on a rock, giving a annoncement. "We have two new members, Shadow and Jewel!Who will train them?" A male Lugia raised his wing. "Insane Lugia, you want to train Jewel?" "Agreed."Insane Lugia put his wing down."I, Soulwing, will train Shadow." "Meeting ended."Soul harshly said. "Go." she said to Shadow and Jewel. They flew off to their cave."I worry about those two, Insane. I truly do." Soul sighed. "Don't worry, they'll fit in soon,they always do."Insane said with a ounce of sense.

[Hooh]

Alright, this wouldn't really be considered a "chapter", in fact, it simply looks like a part of a story.

"Soulwing was sitting on a rock, giving an announcement"

If you read the beginning of that, don't you wonder what happened before Soulwing gave an announcement? And why does she just suddenly speak of 2 new members of her clan, when the reader barely knows the other members and such?

"Insane Lugia, you want to train Jewel? "Agreed" "I, Soulwing, will train Shadow"

That passage gets a little bit confusing, why not say something like this?

"Agreed." Insane Lugia said, his wing going down"

When you add a bit more description after your character's dialog, it helps the reader visualize better. Don't forget to space your dialog

like

this

Or else it just becomes jumbled up into a text wall. As I've said on your other works, you just need some improvement, and you'll be making nice stories.

[Shadow Suicune]

 Ooh, my Lugias!
Keep writing, I wanna see what happens to them >.<

[Soulwing]

It's hard having to lead the Clan. So I'm writing this down for you people to see what exactly happens in the Clan. It's a story, but it's a journal too. So, let's begin. I woke at night(yes,some Lugias are nocturnal) and rushed to the War Room. I then said,"Let's get started!" Insane Lugia told Jewel,"This is a place where we plan attack." "Interesting!"Jewel replied. "So, here's the plan. We hide here."I pointed to our lair. "Then when Insane gives the signal with his tail, we attack!"I then pointed to N's castle. "This is gonna be BEAST!"(Beast is another word for awesome)Then I said,"Insane, hide wherever you want, and take the Clan's strongest warriors with you."

[Shadow Suicune]

exactly what Jewel would say XD

[Soulwing]

Soulwing was in her cave, singing. Her song sounded like this: "One day I find myself surrounded by shadows, they swallow me. WHY WHY, This eternal darkness, WHY WHY, this everlasting TSUMI. WHY WHY, do have I have to suffer? WHY WHY, my light inside me, it's imprisoned! WHY WHY, my memories fade. WHY WHY, I'm sorry, please forgive me, these TSUMI, why do they make me cry? I'm fading, I'M SORRY!........ tHeSe fIIiiiiinAL mOmEnTs, I'm sorry."Then Soul turned. In front of her was a Rayquaza. He had a holdster, with ninja stars on it. "Shruiken."Soul said. Shruiken said,"Yes, Tsumi. It's me." Soul said,"How did Insane let you pass?" Shruiken said,"I informed him I was on Pokeist business." Soul said,"Well, there IS a prophecy about us Pokeists. It tells that, 20,000 years later, in 2011, we will be rebirthed." Soul then said, in a shadowy way, "Time for TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUMI to emerge!" Then Soul started to change. Her teeth got sharper. Her Ying-Ylang turned into a stythe. Her voice changed. She was now Tsumi.

[Soulwing]

Insane Lugia was throwing an ENORMOUS party last night in the Main Hall of the Clan. Aprijuice was being swallowed. There was contests to see who could fit the most Poffins in their mouths. Never in my Lugian 18,000 years in my life did I see a bigger party. Every legendary Pokemon came to the party. Even Arceus came. I forced Insane to go to a human GameStop to get a Wii, 4 Wii controllers, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and Guitar Hero 2 and 3. I beat everybody in SSBB with just Pikachu. Heck, I beat Tabuu with just a Pikachu! And in Guitar Hero Two? Dakota, Insane Lugia, my good friend Shruiken, and I preformed " I Wanna Rock And Roll All Night". I discovered that I could beat the hardest song in Guitar Hero 3 and the world while in Lugian form.

[Shadow Suicune]

Hey look it's me